It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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