"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
