girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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