I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
