This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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