We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
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