my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
