He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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