i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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