What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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