if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
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