Its about making memories worth repressing
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
