i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
