I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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