Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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