If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
