He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
All the doctor said was why
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
