Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
