how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
