Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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