hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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