You're so nebulous sometimes
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
