I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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