fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
