I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Are we still banned from the library?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
