He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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