What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
