I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
