I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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