if i died would you start the facebook group?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
