I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
