The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
