then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
