it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
