I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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