its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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