i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
