You work out of a Hotel?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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