Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
