Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
