i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
