Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
