she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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