OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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