Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
