My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
