when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
