i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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