Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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