New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
