Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
