I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
